How To Not Die From Booze

As I approach 30 one of the things that I have found less enjoyable is the lasting effects of booze. Due to some pretty good genes I’ve had the good fortune to not get hangovers previously, with a total of 3 in my life, but with 30 getting closer and closer my body is now betraying me.

Due to the unloyal hoe it’s becoming, my body now needs preparation and care in order to not kill me in retribution for alcohol drunk. Here are the things that work for me, so good luck for those of you in the same boat.

Eat / drink dairy

This will be the main reason I don’t get hangovers. The premise is very simple – before going to sleep when you get home, eat some cheese or drink some milk. The nausea you’d normally feel when hungover is because your stomach lining was irritated by alcohol, but the fat from the dairy products coat your stomach lining and then you’re protected.

Some people make the rookie mistake of doing this before going out. The problem with this means you’ll get drunk a lot slower, and at a higher cost. Ultimately all you want to do here is make sure you’re not fucked the next day, so do it when you get home.

Drink a shit ton of water

This is just common sense. Part of feeling like shit when you are hungover is because you are dehydrated. If you can drink water while out, but easier said than done when you are in the thick of it. If you can’t manage this then before you leave for the night have your drunk bitch self’s back and have a bottle of water by your bed and ready to go. When you get home force yourself to drink the whole thing. I’d recommend pairing it with the aforementioned cheese.

Drink clear and you’re in the clear

Apparently clear liquors have fewer toxins and impurities than dark ones, so they make you feel less like shit the next day. Vodka is the true MVP and like it is for all the basic bitches out there, myself included, it should be your go-to drink. Whiskey and rum aren’t your friends, or are the kind that that make you think they are and then stab you in the liver the next day. Just drink the clear ones, and you’ll be in the clear.

Different things will work for different people, but if you use these three then it will hurt less the next day.


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