Opinion

Everyone In Space Would Be Pansexual

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, then chances are you already know that Solo is now out in cinemas. It’s a fun romp, but don’t for a second be fooled into thinking that the star of the show is the title character. No friends, like the true fashion bitch of Star Wars that he is – Lando Calrissian, played by the always delightful Donald Glover, steals the film.

If you haven’t seen it then I’d recommend making the trip. While it has teething problems, which would be unfair to not expect from a film that has the weight of the original trilogy and one of the most beloved characters of our lifetime pressing down on it, the film is a lot of fun with itself. That said, who doesn’t love a little world building and the backstory for characters so known and loved?

In that vein a recent interview it’s been revealed that Calrissian is pansexual, albeit not addressed in canon, and honestly anyone who didn’t already think this confuses me. Off the bat what straight man wears a cape, a la fashion bitch, with the kind of authority that Calrissian exudes on a day to day basis. Combine this with how much the man flirts with everything that moves, and you’re kidding yourself if you assumed he was straight.

On a larger scale though, it’s confusing to me that any character in a space setting isn’t automatically assumed to be pansexual. In case you weren’t aware, being pansexual simply means that you are not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity – and on a universal scale how could you not be this? Are you just going to be fucking things that conform to a human gender binary?? Un-fucking likely.

Plus what if something just looks like your preference but is essentially a hermaphrodite because all of their species are? Is that a deal breaker? You’re just going to walk away? Again I have doubts friend.

So next time you are watching a space biopic just keep in mind chances are that they’ve all fucked something weird, or a species that doesn’t conform to our species arbitrary rules. Like Calrissian, and space hoe extraordinaire James Tiberius Kirk, your favourites will probably be pansexual (or maybe asexual) even if they only like to get down with aliens that present as a specific human gender. You’re welcome.

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