If there’s something that you’re taught from the moment you find your way on to this planet, it’s that you should love and forgive your family. For the most part this is pretty solid advice, but for some this isn’t the healthiest choice.
If you’ve had the misfortune to end up with toxic family members then your entire life you’ll have been manipulated into enabling or accepting treatment that isn’t acceptable. Being part of a toxic family means that you’ll have been made to question the legitimacy of your own feelings, and to internalise the blame for things that are not your fault. This is how these people are able to control you for as long as they do.
If you feel sad or angry around your family members, if you find yourself having to look after them or not wanting to see them, then you need to seriously look at your relationship. It’s possible that there are other reasons you’ll find yourself in these situations, for example if you yourself are depressed it could account for a bunch of this, but it warrants another look.
If you suspect that a relationship isn’t healthy then taking a step back can be the best course of action. If you aren’t already then reaching out and speaking to a counsellor then I can’t recommend this enough. A person close to me took years to make this step but when they did they said that having a professional, whose job was to remain objective, confirm their feelings were valid helped them to identify how deep seeded the issues were.
If you’re not quite there though, then there’s also a number of resources available to you online. If you’re keen for a small read, just to get a feeling of whether or not this is something to look into further, then I can also recommend the preview of this book. If it rings true then it’s time to reexamine what you will and won’t accept.